Hi, friend! I miss you. Really, I do. I know that it probably doesn’t feel like it, especially after I’ve declined your invitations out for the last dozen times. It’s not that I wouldn’t love to “have the night off” for some adult conversation and maybe even to eat a meal before it gets cold, because believe me I would! It’s just that right now isn’t a good time. I’m no longer a free spirit – able to pop out of the house on a whim. Going out requires planning and unfortunately sometimes things dont go as planned.
At this stage in my life – my life revolves around my children and I’m okay with that. My Sunday mornings can’t be spent in bed til noon because I’m nursing a hangover. What were once wild and crazy Saturday nights are now family movie and pizza night, followed by getting the kids tucked into bed before falling asleep mid Netflix binge. My evenings revolve around singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” once last time and goodnight kisses before attempting to fold laundry for the fourth night in a row.
You might think that I’ve lost myself and to be honest, you wouldn’t be wrong. I’ve lost myself in a pair of sea blue eyes and in my children’s belly laughs. But I’ve found myself too. I’ve found myself in the embrace of little arms and sloppy baby kisses. I’ve found myself in the stubbornness and sassiness of my oldest. I’ve found myself in the pure and innocent love of my children.
I know it’s hard to understand. I didn’t fully understand it myself until having children of my own. But the day that those two pink lines popped up on that first pregnancy test was the day that I stopped living for myself and started living for my children.
This part of my life won’t last forever, soon enough they’ll be too cool to want to spend Saturday night in watching movies and eating pizza with their mom and dad. All too soon will these precious moments become merely a memory.
I’m sorry that I’ve declined your invitations for an evening out, I try to make it when I can. I’m sorry that our relationship consists of just text messages, snap chats, and Facebook updates. But thank you. Thank you for understanding, even if you’re just acting like you do. Thank you for still inviting me out, even knowing that I more than likely won’t be able to make it. Thank you for being there for me to talk to – whether it be to share in my joys of motherhood or listen to me rant about the stress of it. I promise that when you become a mom I will do the very same for you.
I love you my friend, even if at times it like I’ve forgotten you.
Love always, me.
This is so perfect. 💛 It was so hard in the beginning adjusting to the way friendships change after motherhood and you put this so eloquently. Thank you for this ☺
It was definitely difficult for me to adjust too! You’re so welcome 💜
So beautiful Ashland~ I’ve always thought of you as a writer and poet💕💕💕
Thank you auntie ❤❤❤❤❤
There is definitely a learning curve to being a new parent! I can relate to all of this…
I’m glad that you can relate! It’s very hard, especially at first, to learn to balance everything and prioritize – heck my oldest is 3 and I still have a hard time doing both some days.
This is beautiful and so true. My family and I live far away from the rest of our family and friends, but sometimes they don’t realize that we can’t just fly up for a long weekend or pack the car and take a roadtrip. Everything needs to be planned to perfection and it can’t be done “on a whim”. Thank you for this post, it really resonates with me.
That must be so difficult to be far away from friends and family 🙁
You’re very welcome ❤
How sweet. The transition from carefree ladies nights to parenthood is a tough one for those around us to understand if they haven’t switched to that stage in life. This letter is a kind reminder of the emotions we all deal with at first.
It really is! It’s more difficult for them than we see, and also more difficult for us than they see sometimes too. A little bit of empathy and understanding goes both ways 🙂
I love this so much. I feel the same way! It’s hard to have a social life with kids but I don’t care bc I love my daughter so much and I know I’ll blink and she’ll be out of the house. Also I love the quote you made – so pretty 🙂
I’m the same way, although it is nice to get out on occasion, and I think we need that time to be the best mom’s that we can be. Thank you 😊
Motherhood definitely changes our lives in so many ways! Long gone are the days of last minute decisions to meet up with friends. It’s an adjustment but so worth it!
Definitely! 🙂
this is awesome the social life pales in comparison to being a mother, and rightly so
Thank you! Yes, it really does. ❤
Well put. When you become a mother, you’re not your own person anymore. You’re a better person for it, but it can be difficult when your single friends don’t understand that you can’t be the same free spirit you once were. This open letter is a nice way to say, hey I might not say it often lately, but I love your friendship, give me time to loosen this cord and we’ll get back to where we last left off! Thanks for your lovely post.
Thank you for your kind words!
It can definitely be difficult for them to understand, but it’s how we find out who our true friends are.
You’re very welcome!